I'm Sick

Finally, 24 days after that first day, I succumbed to the much needed break. I had been "kept on my feet," as the saying goes, between caring for family members in need at hospital, at home, at hospital again then back home; ferrying school-going daughter to school and tuition; AND work at KL office and consultant office. I was up at 5.30am and slept past midnight on most days, everyday since April Fool's Day when everyone started the GST uproar.

Yesterday evening, I started feeling feverish. I was shivering as I felt the cool air from the ceiling fan and the natural wind when I was sitting outside. I knew I was coming down with something.

At dinner last night, it came. Whatever it was, it came. I couldn't lift myself up to even drive back home. Blessed as I was, Mr. Hubs had just passed his "no driving" time frame. So, he took over the wheels and drove me home.

I slept last night and woke up this morning feeling worse. Thumping headache, lower back at waist area aching like crazy and I was sneezing away, with runny and intermittently stuffy nose.

That's it. I'm pulling my blanket and going back to la la land. So be it.

My life, my woes, my way

I know I haven't been a friend of late. I haven't been as participative as I usually am especially on social media and I haven't been out catching up with friends over a cuppa or a banana leaf.

I've left many whatsapp/telegram/wechat groups. I don't respond to friends' messages prompt enough.

You see I'm not handling this as well as I should. I have issues. Me issues.

And the fact that I have a few good-intended family members who just seem to be yak yak yak yaking away in my ears about what to do, how to do, why don't I do this, when will I do that...I can't even respond to conversations without being labelled as drama queen or emo.

Then there are friends. Best friends, good friends, buddies, people I love. I expressed my inner feelings, and what do I get? "Let's put that feeling aside for now and focus on what is needed at the moment," so they say.

I AM the moment. I AM needing what is needed. Can anybody understand me? Anybody? Anyone?

I miss my laid back and easy life down south. Where (almost) everything revolves around me. I have no obligations to anyone but me and The Al Mighty. Apart from work, which is somewhat mundane, I'm contented.

But here, now, I'm edgy, I'm restless, I'm angry, I'm tensed, I'm anxious, I'm uptight, I'm irratable, I'm no fun. You make me like this. You can't be good for me. I tried. Ohhh I have tried.

Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I'm tired. Really tired.

When things get complicated

I'm the expressive type. I express myself, my inner feelings, my thoughts. I express by way of writing, saying, singing, capturing photos, SHOPPING and EATING. And maybe more ways than these.

I want it simple. Or do I? Battle of the mind and the heart. It goes on forever.

Life has taken a different turn since the first time I started this in 2006. I wrote once then, then stopped. I wrote again six years later in 2012, the stopped.

I'm back here today, this year 2015. I'm coming back here more often. I've installed the Blogger apps on my Android device, and placed it on my Home screen.

See. Home screen. When I'm in it, I will do it.