My life, my woes, my way

I know I haven't been a friend of late. I haven't been as participative as I usually am especially on social media and I haven't been out catching up with friends over a cuppa or a banana leaf.

I've left many whatsapp/telegram/wechat groups. I don't respond to friends' messages prompt enough.

You see I'm not handling this as well as I should. I have issues. Me issues.

And the fact that I have a few good-intended family members who just seem to be yak yak yak yaking away in my ears about what to do, how to do, why don't I do this, when will I do that...I can't even respond to conversations without being labelled as drama queen or emo.

Then there are friends. Best friends, good friends, buddies, people I love. I expressed my inner feelings, and what do I get? "Let's put that feeling aside for now and focus on what is needed at the moment," so they say.

I AM the moment. I AM needing what is needed. Can anybody understand me? Anybody? Anyone?

I miss my laid back and easy life down south. Where (almost) everything revolves around me. I have no obligations to anyone but me and The Al Mighty. Apart from work, which is somewhat mundane, I'm contented.

But here, now, I'm edgy, I'm restless, I'm angry, I'm tensed, I'm anxious, I'm uptight, I'm irratable, I'm no fun. You make me like this. You can't be good for me. I tried. Ohhh I have tried.

Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I'm tired. Really tired.