Changing Priorities

In our rush to fulfil our material needs, we always lose sight of the very reason we rush.

Most of us spend most of our time away from home and away from our families. We easily clock 12-15 hours work day, every week day. Most of us miss a good part of our children's growing up years.

I did.

Until I got this knock on my head that literally displaced me off my natural inclination towards work first, family next. I thought I was doing my family a favour, while of course immensely enjoying my work plus being remunerated with a big fat paycheck. I was working my ass off and earning money mostly for my family's upkeep and well being.

What I didn't realise until much later in life was that I had given my time away.

My precious time which I can never get back.
My precious time I spent at work and work related programmes and activities.
My precious time NOT SPENT with my children
My precious time MISSING what is important to my children.

Missing their Sports Day.
Missing their Hari Anugerah Cemerlang
Missing their School Carnival
Missing their choir, dance, piano performances
Missing their khatam Quran.

All those activities I missed, I would have supported them financially, emotionally but hardly physically present. My children will always say "It's okay mummy, we understand you can't make it because of work commitments. We're just telling you that this thing that we're participating in is happening. Just so you know"

Truth of the matter and in all actuality, they still hold deep down in their hearts for the slightest chance that I may be able to be there. And I also know how much I can boost their morale just by being physically there for them.

Early 2014 was when I got that knock on my head. I was forced to make a choice and the choice I made then also forced me to reflect on my whole life. It was timely that 2014 also marked my coming of age. I was turning 50 that year.

I was ready to NOT work a career anymore at that time. But I know it would be tough. With daughter no.2 entering (private) college, tough it was indeed.

As life would have it, almost half a year later, I landed me a job down south. And before I know it, poof I go to set the stage for another episode of my real life drama.

Too many people,  friends and family alike, asked me what triggered my decision to take up this job. Leaving my beautiful daughters, my parents, my siblings, my life in KL. Hey, I have my reasons. Of course! I needed to be away to be sure.

It's coming to a year since I've been away. Have I sured myself? Yes, I have.

My priorities have changed since a year ago. But unless Allah wills it, no matter what I do, or don't do, it is the Al Mighty who is the best and only planner.

Goodnight from JB.